Where to Start?

From the beginning of  middle school through part of college I kept a journal. It was a way for me to express and let out all of the thoughts that were tangled in my head. For the last few years I have tired to write in a journal and nothing comes out. I thought creating a blog would help me write out my thoughts, and I could look bad over my post and see where I have been and where I am going. That was also a benefit I loved about keeping a journal that years later I could read over them and see where struggle has been and joy has taken place. So here I am trying a new outlet to document my life.


Here lately I have been thinking about last year and how much in my life has changed. I am no longer just Tonya who only has to worry about herself. I am a married women which sounds just weird to me. High school is long gone and college has past also. I am on the next chapter of my life which is working, paying bills, being married and learning what life is all about. I feel old! Although my mind still feels like I am only 16 and just got my drivers license. Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to feel my actual age again? Maybe when the grey hair sets in? (Which by the way I decided to not color my grey hair when it comes and embrace the silver fox old lady look.) Anyways I feel weird about where I am at in life. Not in a bad way. I am just learning what this chapter of my life feels like.


When I decided I was going to start a blog I thought a lot about the name. For me that mattered. Just as when I wrote in my journals they had to have a certain look and feel for me to be able to write in it. The name finally came tonight so I created it. I chose the word naivety because I am young only being 22 and I have so much to learn about. Let's just say from learning how to cook to my wonderful husband exposing me to the "joys" of politics and different kinds of good beer. The word journey has been part of my language since college I would say. That is the best word I have come understand the meaning of life with. God leads us through life not as a race but as a search for meaning, Himself, and the struggles and joys of this fallen world. The last word I used was wisdom. At this moment I want God to shape me into the old women who is a little crazy but wise only because God has sculpted me into that women. When I am old I want to be  great at sewing, rich in knowledge of faith, and to love deeply. So there that sums up my blog title. I feel with it in place I can now write and those words encompass who I have been, who I am now, and who I will become hopefully.


Ahhhh. finally this feels good to write. So I guess this is where I started.